7 more to go

The transfer went well. I was a 'model patient'. Everything went smoothly and just as planned.

I have two little mini-b's floating around (well, hopefully, ATTACHING) inside me. We're calling them click and clack.

We have the picture and the petri dish to prove their existence.

I don't know if we'll be able to hold them in a few months. But I do know that I love that fact that I get to carry life inside of me, even if this only lasts a few days. Right now, I am their mama.

We ended up with 12 strong embryos all together. 2 transferred, 10 frozen. I was sad to hear that we lost so many of them along the way, but maybe that's one of our issues?

I don't know what's normal- 12 embryos out of 37 eggs? Only 1/3 making it to blastocyst? Is that bad?

Tomorrow- bloodwork.

I'll be glad to have something to DO. And also, to ask if I should be concerned that my normally flat stomach now looks pregnant. I'm only going to be happy about a pregnant tummy if I'm actually pregnant.

7 more days. 7 more days. 7 more days.

unbelievable

So they harvested 37 eggs yesterday. 37 of them.

All night last night I just kept saying it over and over to myself and to my husband. 37 eggs. I never expected that many, it's one of the highest amounts that my clinic has retrieved.

The fabulous embryologist did 19 of them ICSI-- 14 were mature, and 11 fertilized.

The other 18 were left for the sperm to find them on their own. 11 of them fertilized.

We have 22 embryos right now. OH MY WORD.

I can hardly believe it. It's such great news, with so many options for the future.

But of course, I can't help but be scared now. Because it's obviously not a problem of the sperm penetrating the egg, so is our problem with the embryo implanting? That's a problem that is not easily solved.

Today I'm just trying to be excited (and ignoring the pain).

Stats

Yeah...

Stim Day 7, dr said that there were probably about 20 follicles.

Stim Day 9, dr reports that I have 30 follicles. Yes, 30.

Holy Cow, no wonder I feel bloated and sore.


Stim Day 9, nurse says E2 level was "in the 5000's". Yikes.

Stim Day 10, nurse says E2 level is 7500. Yikes again.

Dr. will only be nervous if it's over 10,000...


Trigger shot last night, only half a dose to prevent Ovarian Hyperstimulation (Thankyouverymuch).

Retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday.

To say that I am nervous is an understatement.

I just hope since I've got THIRTY eggs, that we'll have some good ones to choose from.

Sheesh. Apparently I'm also an egg-making machine.

change of plans... again

I'm 41 shots in. With umpteen more to go.

For the fourth day in a row, I got blood drawn and estrogen checked. This time both doctors did my scan and consulted.

Apparently I'm 'tricky'. Not exactly the words I want to hear.

So after 4 nights of lowering my follistem... tonight I get to eliminate it. My E2 level is still through the roof.

I'm trying to focus on the positive: one less shot to give.

But it's hard not to notice the negative: they can't get my estrogen under control.

Should I worry? (not that I really have a choice...)

spurgeon

He writes:

“Prayer is the forerunner of mercy…Prayer is thus connected with the blessing to show us the value of it. If we had the blessings without asking for them, we should think them common things; but prayer makes our mercies more precious than diamonds. The things we ask for are precious but we do not realize their preciousness until we have sought for them earnestly.”

Oh no, a child would not be a common thing at all!

I'm an estrogen producing machine

After my blood draw yesterday, the nurse called to tell me that I was 3 times normal for my E2.

Well, of course I was. Seems to be my style.

Google scared me with all the information about bad complications and cancelled cycles because of high E2 levels.

Thankfully my fabulous doctor did an ultrasound this morning and said that all was well. Lots of follicles, all similar size, right where they needed to be. I just make a LOT of estrogen.

I hope that they'll keep my Follistem dose lower. I sure do love injecting less drugs. Especially expensive ones.

finally

They wanted me below 50. It went from 88 on my originally planned start date, to 106, to 107, to 83, then finally to 66. The doctors consulted and I was cleared. A miracle.

I have to say, when the nurse called, I thought for SURE that she was going to tell me to stay on the Lupron for a few more weeks and we would start the Stim in April. I was stunned when she said we could go ahead and start.

I know a few weeks doesn't matter much, but since my husband travels so much, he would have had to juggle more trips. And he had already cleared 2 weeks in March for all of this.

So here I am on Stim Day 4. I can already say that I hate Menopur. The bruises are wide and painful.

Here's hoping they're worth it.

the ups and downs

I am now 13 days in of shots. It hasn't been to bad so far, and I'm thankful.

I had my baseline ultrasound yesterday, and my Dr. was very pleased with what she saw. She's always so encouraging that this will be successful for us. I was feeling really excited about it all last night.

But then the nurse called just now to let me know that my E2 level was high. You know, they want it below 50, and mine was at 88. Of course.

So more bloodwork on Friday morning.

Friday night I'm supposed to start my stimulation. I have a hunch that if my E2 level is still to high on Friday, then she'll cancel IVF for this month.

I wouldn't be surprised it if were, either. Because for whatever reason, my body seems to REALLY respond well to hormones.

I'm trying to be too discouraged until I know something on Friday. But the way things go for me, I'd be incredibly surprised if it were okay.

Maybe I can handle it this time?