halfway there!

I can't believe I get to say that.

I can't believe that I had my 19 week ultrasound on Wed.

I can't believe that we're having 2 boys! (testosterone, here I come...)

I can't believe how big my belly already is.

I can't believe that strangers are already telling me that I must be close to my due date.

I can't believe we're shopping for cribs this weekend.

I can't believe that I'm finally accepting the idea that I'm going to be a mama.

I can't believe how unbelievably blessed I am to be able to be pregnant.

I can't believe this is my life right now.

But oh, I'm glad it is!

time marches on

16 weeks and counting now.

I had an ultrasound at 15 weeks, and all looks good. The Dr. couldn't tell yet what we were having, so we have to wait until the next appointment, in FOUR WEEKS. Oh, how will I ever last that long until I can lay my eyes on my little ones again??

My belly has really popped in the last week. No more hiding it these days. Which is actually kinda tricky since we haven't told anyone at church yet. I don't know why we keep putting it off. I'm still afraid to have to follow it up with bad news, I guess.

I thought my co-workers didn't know (only my fabulous boss) but I'm pretty sure that word has gotten around about my ever expanding belly. At least, I hope they don't all just think I just got fat. Hah.

Okay, so here's what I want to know: As an Infertile, when will the fun part of pregnancy ever kick in? I mean, I'm as excited as I can be at this point. I know that my wide midsection is a sign that these babies are truly in there, but the nervousness is still there.

And you know what else? Guilt.

I never expected this emotion. But I have it. I feel guilty that some people still aren't pregnant. And I feel guilty because maybe I'm not supposed to be either.

Silly, I know. God created these babies, no matter how they were conceived. He had His hand on them from the moment of conception and I am meant to be their mother.

But still...