confessions

I swore I wouldn't complain about being pregnant. After almost 4 years of trying and our 'last resort' of IVF, I just so desperately wanted to carry my child that I swore I wouldn't complain about the discomfort.

But then it was twins. (And I hope it goes without saying that I'm THRILLED that it is). And the whole being-pregnant-with-twins sure does change the pregnancy game.

I never complained about morning sickness. I was still so afraid that something would happen to my little guys that I was just happy to have a symptom, even a bad case of never-ending morning sickness.

Then the back pain hit. And I mean tear-enducing upper back pain like I've never experienced before. And we're nearing week 8 of the pain, with no end in sight. I'm trying to have a good attitude about it, I know it's all worth it in the end. But oh, what I wouldn't give to be able to take some ibuprofen!

But actually the thing that really surprises me about this pregnancy is how incredibly concerned I am about my weight. I didn't exercise much in the months before we got pregnant, mostly because I was so depressed. And so then my dr advise me not to do too much since my body wasn't used to it.

And honestly, I was pretty thin before. I never had to watch what I ate to keep my figure. And I guess I realize now that I was pretty vain about it. I don't mind the belly bulge. But for whatever reason, my body has decided to pack the pounds on in my thighs and butt and love handles too.

I HATE it. And I worry about it constantly. And I feel like such a hypocrite being concerned about my body changing when I invested so much to get here!

I know lots of women gain weight in areas other than their stomachs, but I really thought I'd be one of the lucky ones who still looked thin except for the belly. It has been quite a strange dose of reality for me.

All I can do is continue to do my yoga and eat healthy things. And I guess if I need the weight in my hips, then I guess that's where it'll go. It's just so hard not to compare myself to my other pregnant friends.

I will say this, though. I will NEVER complain about my babies kicking me. They are very active little boys and remind me of their presence all day long. And for that, I am beyond grateful.