today

On the heels of another IUI, I am overcome with the urge to weep.

Not from sadness, not from frustration, not from loneliness.

Today I am holding back the tears from the overwhelming realization that I have no control. Today I understand the beauty in following Christ.

The glory of the cross is not that life is good or easy or what we want. The beauty of it is that this life is bad and hard and rarely how we want it.

We fall on our knees day after day after day, because we aren't who we want to be, we don't have what we want to have, and we can't see what we want to see.

Sin overwhelms us. Grace redeems us. He looks at me and says "Mine."

Today I have peace because of the One who was, and is, and will be.