Tuesday, February 2, 2010

questioning

Here's what I want to know: Why does God answer every one else's prayers? Why does it feel like mine come back void?

I know we are told to approach the throne with confidence, and lately, I haven't been. Because you know what? He hasn't been answering my prayers before now, so why would He start now? I have almost resigned myself to the idea that there are no children in my future.

A friend in infertility wrote to me today. She said that she had been praying that she would be able to put a positive pregnancy test into her husband's stocking at Christmas. And guess what? She did.

Well I was praying that I would be pregnant by my 31st birthday. I've been praying that for YEARS. And of course. I wasn't.

Her prayers were heard and answered. Mine were not.

Today is a bad day. I feel abondoned, desperate, depressed.

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